Daves Story: Lizard King

First of all it’s stupid but it’s bike related, so it goes here, not off-topic. Grip :- Daddys gonna get paid tonight! *rubs paws together*.

So there I was at the top of the DH run, premeditating the lines I need to take and thinking over the areas were I may need to add some boot. We mounted our trusty steeds, “Should be a good run” I thought. My friend was behind me ready to pin it, I was ready to do the same. Off we went, Hitting terminal velocity down the start of the track maxing out the gears trying to invest as much speed into the start as we can manage. First few corners were great, right on the edge of traction. The rock gardens were sailed over, the doubles connected smoothly. So far so good. Up comes the fast ass section – we pin it. Again, “so far so good”. As we entered the next section of the course galantly rolling onwards, I felt a cold unholy wind brush past me. Odd I though at first, but nothing more. “keep it together – theres still plenty of track left and not enough of a lead” I mumbled. So on I went unaware of the foul sorcery that was at work in the shadows taking interest in my presence.

The next section felt good and clean, as I relished in a moment of accomplishment the cold wind returned. This time stronger and fouler than before – it made the hairs on my neck stand up as if to brace for some kind of attack without me even knowing. “Again with that foul wind… curses! this shant dampen my spirits!” I commanded, however at the same time feeling foolish for leaving my alpinestar armour back at the muster point. Down the trail I went, agressive, poised at a high level of alertness to convince whatever lay in wait for me that I was no easy meal.

I had the feeling I was being watched by some foul presence that lurked these lands of whom I had strayed too recklessly into. My suspicions were confirmed as I heard a loud shreek. A terrifying shreek, of which it was apparent, some dark ancient god (that has passed from human memory) was in command of. The bikes became restless and could sense a dangerous presence, we calmed them down and soldiered on to finish what we started, testing our equiptment and our own wit-and-will power. Silence, The sound had sucked the life out of the wilderness. Not bird within reach dared to utter. They knew somthing. Somthing I was becomming evermore nervous of. When the few moments which seemed like eternity had passed after something made its presence aware, I felt a sigh of releif as me and my freind realised were were close to salvation, the journey was nearing its end. The only thing left in our way was a narrow passage with tight corners and poor visibility. I knew if the beast was intent on more than bluffing, this is where i would meet it, this is where i would make my stand.

Onward I went some distance ahead of my freind. A precaution, that if i may fall, there will be someone to scribe books of my death, so that it may be remembered as a galant and nobel defeat against an impossible beast. I was ready for this, bring it on. I dashed forward full speed, leaving behind my senses and fear. Only one thing was on my mind, speed. I need to nail this section faster than humanly possible, for my life depended on it.

- I manged to make it half way down the lair.

- Somthing to my left catches my eye…

- A beast.

A beast of epic proportions! Coverd in scales, running at me at ungodly speed, fangs out, claws ready to attack. I had to make a choice, continue the line as fast as i could or brace for impact. I chose to the former, so i sprinted as fast as my bike would take me, but alas. It was in vain. The beast had cought upto me and pounced. I felt its weight on my left leg as it latched on eager for my blood. It then moved swiftly up my pants and onto my lower back. As i was at pace, I tried desperately to subdue my attack and at the same time keep from crashing… – The enevitable occured. The beast, in its frenzy, had made me lose balance and come to greif with the cold ground. Darkness took me…

As i came to I Regained my composure, I searched for my attacker. Nothing. I checked my vitals – only a few grazes, nothing major. It was obvious It had taken a harder fall than me and is either lying dead or unconsious nearby or has fled. I didn’t want to stick around to find out, so i straightened my bars and completed the course in one peice. Victory.

~~thats my super retarded way of telling you I was jumped by a big monitor lizard while DH’ing. It did jump on me and climb up my back and I did stack my bike as a result… Below are some pic’s – an artists impression of what occured. However, It’s so chillingly accurate, you may aswel frame them:

Here you can clearly see me comming down the single track with the lace monitor (enchanted fire whip in hand) waiting for me.